![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
choralseraphine's journalLog in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more
| You are viewing choralseraphine's journal Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |
 | |||
|
Comment savoir que Dieu nous aime ?
|
|||
| |||
|
Pas de cours de français pour les deux semaines à venir... c'est dommage qu'il n'y aura plus rien qui me permettra de changer des idées... je ne subirai que de la torture, mais pour le bien des autres, je l'accepte. Après tout, c'est une lutte sempiternelle ! ... et en tant que guerrière, je rentrerai chez moi. *en tournant vers mon amour non vivant* François, n'oublie pas qu'on a rendez-vous ! ~~~~~~~~~~ Quelque part dans son âme, il entendit le cri de son amante. Mais où était-elle ? Il n'en savait rien. Alors il répondit en criant, « Où tu m'attends ? - Dans mon esprit. On discutera des choses - les actus, la litté, les sujets - comme d'habitude. - Cependant, quant aux enfants... - Ne t'inquiète pas; ils peuvent y assister, mais seulement Jeanne-Catherine et Titus m'ont dit qu'ils s'y intéressent. - Mais Séverine et Mathieu, que feront-ils ? - Je passerai du temps avec eux séparément. - D'accord... alors, nous y serons avec Jeanne-Cathie et Titus... tu inviteras aussi des amis ? - Bien sûr que oui... tu te souviens de Zhong Zhixin et Lily Beth ? - Ben oui. Nous sommes comme des frères et des sœurs... ah, que la Fratrie Langagière soit réunie ! - Mais après, n'oublie pas qu'il nous faut du temps en privé... juste nous les deux. - D'accord. À demain ! Que je t'aime... - Moi aussi. Bisous et à demain ! » ~~~~~~~~~~ Voilà, c'est ça. Cette partie de la lutte sempiternelle ne va pas paraître interminable ! ... au revoir, tout le monde!
|
|||
| |||
|
Tiré de Jean de Florette, œuvre de Marcel PAGNOL: Mais un long cri aigu monta de l'autre côté des genêts, un cri désespéré, strident et monotone, que les échos renvoyaient à travers les pinèdes, et qui les entoura soudain. Plusieurs interprétations possibles de la partie en gras (qui est sans doute une métaphore):
|
|||
| |||
|
Petite conversation imaginée entre moi et mon amour non vivant : « Merci, chéri, de m'avoir soutenu ! C'est très gentil de ta part. Que je t'aime... - Eh bien, mon amante, il n'y a pas de quoi... mais maintenant, il te faut t'occuper des petits. Surtout Séverine - tu lui as manqué. - QUOI !? ...mais comment voudrait-on que je le sache ? Elle a toujours l'air indifférent ; si elle éprouvait des émotions, elle ne les a jamais montré. D'ailleurs, c'est une économiste née ; elle ne parle que des sciences écos, et la plupart du temps, je n'arrive pas à suivre ses pensées. - Peut-être que tu pourrais l'initier aux lettres ? - Impossible. Séverine - comme Mathieu - ne sait pas les apprécier. Regarde - il n'y a aucun rapport entre elle et Jeanne-Catherine, mon tout petit génie, la spécialiste en lettres... mais grâce à Titus et sa capacité précoce de servir de médiateur entre tous les membres de notre famille, les deux sœurs peuvent au moins vivre ensemble. - Et tu te dis maman ! Sois comme Titus alors, ou bien mieux que lui ! C'est à toi, et pas à moi, de reconstruire les relations entre toi et les enfants. Après tout, c'est toi le chef de notre famille. Ça ne te fera que du bien de t'assurer que nous allons bien tous les six. - D'accord, mon chéri. »
|
|||
| |||
|
... it is dawn, and Eos the phoenix has flown past me, and I now know what I must do, far within my nebulous conscious, my swirling and tumultuous subconscious; within, a note has rung, a clear peal, soft and crystalline in itself; within, something is burning, dying, fading away; within, ash galls, fire blazes, and renewal begins. And I, too, have wings. And I, too, have eyes that see clearer than ever before on all the planes I have ever walked, even in thought. And I, too, have ears that hear the most infinetismal acciacatura pianississima of detail on each and every one of the abovementioned planes. And I, too, have that fiery gaze, that trail to blaze, that will to raze through no matter what it takes. Bella premunt hostilia. Let me show you what that truly means, o my obstacles, o my enemies, o you demons that try still to arrest my psyche and twist it into thinking I cannot. Bella premunt hostilia. Let me, the sole Falco altacantoris naomiensis in my current habitat, show you what that is. Bella premunt hostilia. Let me, with my rainbow plumage and its golden lustre, show you what that means. Bella premunt hostilia. Let me, with the fire and dust of stars in my eyes, show you what that means. Bella premunt hostilia. I shall show you what that means. Forge forth, I shall. Surge forth, I shall. Break through, I shall. Achieve, I shall. Ardour, dynamism, zeal. ... and all of a sudden, my new name comes to me from deep within: I am Elpis. Such is the burden that is on me, and such is the task that I am built for. And this I know. And I know. I know. I know that if I will it, I will do it. I will it; I will do it. I will and will do. So shall it be. I shall.
|
|||
| |||
|
POURQUOI VACILLEZ-VOUS AINSI ? POURQUOI ?! C'est pour ça que je vous en veux, le savez-vous? ... et, encore une fois, je suis privé de toi, mon amour non vivant... que faire ?... je pourrais pleurer de nouveau. Sommes-nous le vrai bouvier et la véritable tisserande ? Ouais, c'est partiellement de ma faute, mais tu le vois, ils cherchent à me priver de toi, et toi de moi - mais est-ce que je te manquerai ? Je ne suis qu'un individu parmi les millions qui ont et gardent contact avec toi. Mais, quand même, je t'aime, et tu n'as pas besoin de prendre garde à toi - mon rôle n'est pas celui de Carmen. Tu vas le voir. *retourne vers tous les lecteurs en chantant* Va ! laisse couler mes larmes; elles font du bien, [mes ami(e)s] ! Les larmes qu'on ne pleure pas dans notre âme retombent toutes, et de leurs patientes gouttes martèlent le cœur triste et las ! Sa résistance, enfin, s'épuise; le cœur se creuse et s'affaiblit - il est trop grand, rien ne l'emplit - et trop fragile; tout le brise, tout le brise! - "Va! laisse couler mes larmes", air de Charlotte, de Werther, opéra par Jules Massenet ~~~~~~~~~~ *switch languages* ... and yes, people, the hiatus is no more. But never did I expect to break it like this. I was hoping... but lo and 'las, that path through time can no longer be, never. Not at that particular point. There still is hope. ~~~~~~~~~~ Ouais, il y a encore de l'espoir.
|
|||
| |||
|
Ma chère équipe, Nous sommes réunis ici pour que je puisse vous dire quelques choses. À toi, que j'ai absolument haï avant: avec toi, je me suis ennuyée à mort jusqu'à hier où tout a fait tilt; maintenant, tu me rends folle - jusqu'au point où la seule expression que je peux trouver pour te décrire est (en anglais) « Q!!!!!!!!! » X3 je veux te connaître mieux. Je suis vraiment désolée; pouvons-nous recommencer? À toi: Hé, tu es aussi méchante que ta sœur pour m'avoir triché! Mais avançons ensemble; tu n'es pas la même matière qu'elle, pas du tout. Allons-y! À toi que j'aprécie: je ne sais pas comment je n'ai pas réussi ton défi, mais je sais que tu es toujours là pour moi. Tu as grandi, et nous avons des nouveaux amis des 17ème et 18ème (mais qui n'étaient représentés qu'au 20ème!) siècles... quelle foule bigarrée. Antoinette, n'aie pas peur; je suis ton avocat, et je vais prouver indiscutablement au monde que les lecteurs de Jane Eyre ont vraiment la mauvaise impression de toi. Je n'ai rien à dire à ton mauvais mari. Mais Ésaü et Amélie, faites attention - je vais vous traduire en justice pour ce que vous avez fait. Eh oui, Ésaü, je t'appelle Ésaü; tu ne mérites pas le prénom qu'on te donne - tu te souviens? Tu as dit au mari d'Antoinette qu'on t'a donné ce prénom, mais que ton vrai prénom est Ésaü - pas du tout. Et vous! Hé, Petruchio et Kathérine! Arrêtez de vous bagarrer! Bon, vous n'arrêtez pas? Bien, je vais vous analyser. Et franchement, Kathérine, je pense que ton mari est vraiment horrible, et c'est comment je vais l'argumenter. Je ne crois pas que tu pourrais l'aimer complètement. Taisez-vous, les hommes! Nous sommes maintenant le 21ème siècle. Mettez-vous à jour! J'ai besoin de ton aide, toi que j'aprécie; allons les analyser! ... et toi, mon amour non vivant, je te retrouverai et je te vivrai, mais pas aussi intensivement qu'avant. Sois là pour moi, d'accord? Monsieur Chan m'a dit que tu ne me balanceras pas... peu importe. Ce que je sais, c'est qu'il me faut te tenir à distance pour les semaines qui suivent. Tiens la distance! Je serai là pour toi et je reviendrai chez toi après les dangers - bien sûr, sans perdre l'équilibre. Aux armes, camarades! Formons nos bataillons! On y va! ~~~~~~~~~~ Au revoir, mes lecteurs! Je reviendrai après le défi le plus important de ma vie. (switch languages) Bottom line: unbreakable hiatus. Until my next post! *waves goodbye*
|
|||
| |||
|
Were you to ask me, Die Zauberflöte seems a rather contradict'ry work to me, for would not all mothers be desirous of the highest goodness for their daughters? Yet the Queen of the Night seems not so - if the other characters should be believed. I do not accept; believe? I do not! Could such e'er be true? Could such? Could such? Ah, would I knew! Yet were it Snow White and the Queen all o'er, then and only then should I believe it. But is it Snow White and the Queen all o'er? Ah, would I knew!
|
|||
| |||
|
亲爱的华文： 好久不见，别来无恙？是啊，我的好友，自从考完O水准以后，我好久没和你联络了... 说真的，想当年，我刚入学的那一年，他们居然以汉语拼音课开始教我们华语。我的母语，我 后来，我升学了，进入了四德，遇上了王老师、吴老师，还有帮我补习的王老师... 中三那年，我写的《字节的日记》进入了校刊。你也知道，我的高华在O水准会考得了A2；这 我的个案并没什么稀奇。瞧，新加坡华人当中，只有几个会在家里讲华语。是的，我的父母 哟，对了。在搁笔之前，好友，我想和你稍微讨论话题。昨天，我的法文老师在课堂上说过，按 好啦，就此搁笔，咱们改天再聊吧 ;) 祝你 步步高升 小瑜 2009-08-12
|
|||
| |||
|
Starry vistas, nebulae of dreams of faraway worlds that are so near, and yet intangible. Fascination. Yet there is the One who was nailed to the rood, who is the Door to the final Destination, and there and only there shall the Falcon truly be free to sing. Finally, the Falcon's mind and spirit are purified and clarified. "Ringed with the azure world, [she] stands." - Alfred, Lord Tennyson ... and so, no matter how she bleeds, the Falcon in her words and deeds sings, sings, sings to the One who gives her her wings.
|
|||
| |||
|
« Mais lui, il est si beau... - Arrête, arrête... - Son visage, ses muscles, son comportement et sa personnalité, son rire... - Je ne veux pas écouter... - Dans ce frigo, c'est lui seule qui fait rechauffer la salle... - Non, non... - Bref, tu ne peux pas résister! - Ahh! » ... troublée et paniquée, elle s'est mise à courir, mais comme l'une des voix dans son tête lui a dit, « c'est pas si facile de t'enfuir de mes tourments! » ( . continuons . l'histoire . )
|
|||
| |||
|
Finally, after so long, I remember the ending I'd had in mind for my mini-recount. A pity it had to come back to me so late. And I finally remember the names I had wanted to give my characters. Well... here's the little revenant of an ending. ( ATTN: MS ZOBEL! )
|
|||
| |||
|
Contre tous les maux qui envahissent, le Seigneur y est. Contre tous les maux du monde, le Seigneur y est. L'ancien chérubin protecteur envola Sa création, mais l'Éternel est plus fort. Le prince puissant corrompit Sa création, mais l'Éternel est encore plus fort. Il viendra juger le monde, mais le Seigneur est mon Ami. Et je ne vais rien craindre, car le Seigneur est mon Ami. La gloire au Seigneur! Ô fais que ma vie soit très bien rempli avec ce que Te glorifie. En Toi je me confie, ô Seigneur. Psaume 23 - L'Éternel est mon berger 1 Psaume de David. L'Éternel est mon berger. Je ne manquerai de rien. 2 Grâce à lui, je me repose dans des prairies verdoyantes, et c'est lui qui me conduit au bord des eaux calmes. 3 Il me rend des forces neuves, et, pour l'honneur de son nom, il me mène pas à pas sur le droit chemin. 4 Si je devais traverser la vallée où règnent les ténèbres de la mort, je ne craindrais aucun mal, car tu es auprès de moi: ta houlette me conduit et ton bâton me protège. 5 Pour moi, tu dresses une table aux yeux de mes ennemis, tu oins de parfums ma tête, tu fais déborder ma coupe. 6 Oui, toute ma vie, ta bonté et ton amour m'accompagneront et je pourrai retourner au temple de l'Éternel tant que je vivrai. -- La Bible du Semeur
|
|||
| |||||
|
Anagram SATB and you get BATS or TABS - either way, being the S at the end, I am merely an indefinite multiplier; on my own, I can do nothing. That is how things were when Jenna made the announcement about the SYF Choral Presentation. A fatal pox upon the MID-YEARS (and I mean the event, not the people in it), by which (if you re-anagram the acronym) I have been STAB-bed. ... fact of the matter is, though, the whole matter could be pushed back to the date of the last Choral Presentation. I remember you, July 20 of 2006... alas, your sister is early. Would that you both had similar birthdays! But perhaps this change in date was prompted by schools wanting to send in their Sec 4s but realising that a date around the 20th of July would jeopardise their dear Sec 4s' studying for the O's. *sigh* Then again, it is far better for just one to be stabbed than for the rest of the world to be stabbed. Leave me be, leave me be. As Piatt said in her poem A Pique at Parting, I "must hide in the leaves, I guess, / and coo down [my] loneliness." Think of me, think of me waking silent and resigned; imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind... ~~~~~~~~~~ That aside, today was rather a lovely day, and I mean it. There was photo-taking all around (and yes, I categorically refuse to call it by that name, which sounds uncouth), and I joined in, taking pictures with Wennie, Charmaine of the Altos, Claire, Min Huay, Dhwani, Melissa and Swee Hao. Only thing is, though, I wish I'd taken my camera down to the holding room (where we were stationed before being called to be on standby) - Jenna had taken hers down and asked for a picture with me (and I had *so* been targeting you first, Jen). And then there was Bibi, crashing many a photo. Her modus operandi was to sneak behind those who were posing for photos and then squeeze in a V-sign behind them. Voilà: crashed photo! A few shots later, though, she became so amused that she could not hold in her giggles - and Shermaine and her posing-partner caught Bibi ~~~~~~~~~~ But choir, why did we have to cause Jen and Bryan so many problems? And why will we die from so many stories? The stories will continue without us. After all, you must take the 'A' train to go to Sugar Hill way up in Harlem. If you miss the 'A' train, you've missed the quickest way to get to Harlem. Yes, they will continue without us, and never again be born into our lives, and that is why we will die from so many of them. ¿Dime, tierra quemada, no hay agua? ¿Hay sólo sangre, sólo hay polvo, hay sólo pisadas de pies desnudos sobre la espina? Even then, life is ever so ephemeral... The wind is their master, he musters and drives; his team of white horses race for their lives, for when the wind dies, they cease to exist and all the brave horses dissolve in the mist, and all the brave horses dissolve in the mist... ... so, ultimately, (to rephrase the Bard,) "to create or not to create, that is the question". But my answer, however straightforward I want it to be, can never be so straightforward. Look at the world and its iron girders. How long more must little everyday dreams be martyred? How long more must the nightmares wrought by the minority persist against the needs of the majority? How long more must people be given before finally understanding that too much freedom can easily become anarchy? ~~~~~~~~~~ Perhaps I should give up wanting to have a little toddler of my own running around me. She does not need to see all this. Nobody does. The world is so full of despair sometimes. Yet there still is one Hope to reach out for: O salutaris Hostia, o salutaris Hostia, quae caeli pandis ostium, quae caeli pandis ostium: bella premunt hostilia, hostilia; da robur, da robur, fer auxilium, auxilium! (... actually, I wanted to post all the lyrics of the song just above, but realised there was far, far, far too much repetition in them. Perhaps, then, what I must do is to bear up all these things with fortitude, and move on.) Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. I think it best to go now, lest both sides of me erupt into impassioned debate as to whether to create the one and destroy the other, or destroy the other and create the one. Either way, the result will be as described below in these stanzas from Keith Douglas's Time Eating: "But while he makes he eats; the very part where he began, even the elusive heart Time's ruminative tongue will wash and slow juice masticate all flesh. [...] "But time, who ate my love, you cannot make such another. You who can remake the lizards tale and the bright snakeskin cannot, cannot. That you gobbled in too quick; and though you brought me from a boy you can make no more of me, only destroy." Au revoir, tout le monde.
|
|||||
| |||
|
Thus did a voice speak to me on behalf of today. Yes, you heard me correctly; I said 'today'. And when I heard it, I thought, No, dear Today, for no day can be either pure pleasure or pure anguish. Dearest Today, I shall call you Mara-Naomi, for I foresee you shall be bittersweet, like dark chocolate, that most readily-available and health-giving confection that is the singer's bane, the singer's sin; yet, dear Today, should there be any bitterness in you, it comes from another's sin, the sin of a certain non-singer, the sin of a certain predator of songbirds; even if only a little tinge of anguish comes to me today, I shall have been anguished by her. But Mara-Naomi, never can any day be filled with pleasure nor torture alone, and thus do I name you. I was wrong. I remember waking and being infused with a form of warm fuzziness that only comes to me on a certain special occasion. Turning seventeen, however, is rather special in itself - the day you do so, the birth date and birth day of those born from March to December coincide again (seventeenth-birthday re-coincidences of day and date are not certain for January and February babies, according to what I worked out. Don't I seem so free? Actually, I did this when I was younger, haha). That aside, there were special events that I knew would be coming up, and they formed the basis for my initial christening of the day - Mara means 'bitterness', while 'Naomi' means 'pleasant'. But I admit now that I was wrong to do such forecasting. How were you great, Naomi (as I now re-christen you)? Let me count the ways... Today, there were all sorts of people coming up to wish me a Happy Birthday. Sharon's SMS came two days in advance; on the day itself, messages came from Faith (at midnight *Down Under*!), Karen, Clarissa, Theresa, Charis and Alethea. In school, most of my classmates came up to me and did likewise. Thank you all, everyone, really... thank you too, Bibi (and Bibi's two classmates), for wishing me during and after PE. Thank you, Shirlynn, Rosalind and Weilin, as well as your Jaguar classmates who joined you in wishing me before the Econs lecture. Another big thank-you goes out to all who wished me on Facebook - really, the big flood I saw after coming home from dinner at Noble House stunned me O.O ... really, I am blessed indeed. Post-PE, after freshening up, I had a private moment of indulgence (fine, not quite so private, but the Ohana - an extension of the AJCanteen, for those who don't know it already - was 90% empty) - Mango Madness, without whipped cream. Extravagant in its own way, but subtly so, never overpoweringly overdone - such is the taste of this ice-blended drink as I have come to expect it. Today's did not disappoint. ~~~~~~~~~~ ... the rest of the account of today is LJ-friends-only, so please do request it from me if you want to see it. (It goes without question that I require your real name so as to be able to give you access.) Thank you.
|
|||
| |||
|
Après être descendue du métro, j'y ai pensé... en rentrant chez moi, j'y ai pensé ... j'y pense encore. Tie-Boy, tu as raison - je ne dois obliger à personne de prendre le même point de vue que moi. Shali, Tie-Boy, Chuan En, Han Xu, je suis vraiment desolée, vraiment desolée... ... si on continue a passer tous les rendez-vous comme nous avons fait aujourd'hui, ça nous déchirera. Ça nous déchirera et car c'est obligatoire de travailler sur le Grand Projet, nous ne pouvons pas et ne pourrons pas nous échapper, ma groupe et moi. Mais nous sommes aussi obligés de faire beaucoup d'autres choses - ah, toutes les activités dans notre vie scolaire cherche de nous déchirer, peu à peu, jusqu'au point où nous effondrerons de fatigue... « Mais ceux qui se confient en l'Éternel renouvellent leur force. Ils prennent le vol comme les aigles; ils courent, et ne se lassent point, ils marchent, et ne se fatiguent point. » - Ésaïe 40:31 (Louis Segond) Merci beaucoup, ô Seigneur. Alléluia! ^_^
|
|||
| |||
|
... donc je crois qu'il me faut un peu de blogging après tout ce travail. J'ai songé à beaucoup de choses cette semaine, ce mois, dès le début de cette année... je regrette que j'en ai oublié beaucoup. Mais cette semaine, c'était fantastique; avec des petites révélations toute la journée, il me semblait bien que j'étais encore en Sec 4 à Cedar, fille de seize ans... oui, je sais, j'ai encore seize ans - mais dans deux semaines, j'en aurai dix-sept. Ce que je voudrais bien, c'est de revenir aux origines, de redevenir la fille - ou bien l'adolescente - que j'étais... mais sans assez de temps, c'est impossible. Hikari Yagami, et Tailmon, qui devient Angewomon puis Ophanimon. Domine, Deus, Agnus Dei. O salutaris Hostia, quæ cæli pandis ostium... Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae... ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. ... et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui, nobis post hoc exilium ostende, o clemens, o pia, o dulcis Virgo Maria, Virgo Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria! ... et non, il ne me faut pas. Pas du tout. Équipe Zéro, pourquoi suis-je si éloignée de vous? Qu'il ne faudrait pas... c'est comme il y avait deux personnalités différentes qui habitent mon corps et se démènent tous les jours. J'essaie de rester fidèle... mais mon cœur vacille tout le temps. Il me faut réussir, Équipe Zéro, il me faut réussir afin que la nôtre ne soit pas déchirée. Les démons: sortez de ma vie. Maintenant. « Mais lui, il est si beau... - Arrête, arrête... - Son visage, ses muscles, son comportement et sa personnalité, son rire... - Je ne veux pas écouter... - Dans ce frigo, c'est lui seule qui fait rechauffer la salle... - Non, non... - Bref, tu ne peux pas résister! - Ahh! » ... troublée et paniquée, elle s'est mise à courir, mais comme l'une des voix dans son tête lui a dit, « c'est pas si facile de t'enfuir de mes tourments! » Ah, il me faut réfléchir... que vais-je faire? Que me faut-il faire? Mes deux passions... je veux bien faire des spécialisations dans toutes les deux domaines. Mais comment vais-je le faire? SOTA, SOTA, c'est de ta faute; tu es venue trop tard. Peut-être, après mes A-levels, il me faut m'inscrire chez toi, SOTA, puis d'obtenir une bonne note pour le BI (et pour la musique et le chant) et puis aller à l'université pour suivre le cours littéraire. Mon seul souci, c'est que ce sera trop tard de sauver ce que je voudrais très très très bien sauver quand je finis toutes ces études. Ariadne, il ne faut jamais que tu meurs avant mon arrivée. Je viens, je viens. Attends-moi, attends-moi... ... mais tout d'abord, il faut que je sois promue. Au revoir, tout le monde. P.S. Équipe Zéro, il nous faut une réunion bientôt! Quand êtes-vous libre?
|
|||
| |||||
|
Note: this post is a follow-up to a riddle, and hence is a riddle in itself. Should you not like riddles, it would be best if you went somewhere else - or clicked the red 'X' button on your browser. Nonetheless, thank you for stopping by, and I welcome you to read the rest of the posts that are not in riddles. ( . I . wake . to . feel . the . fell . of . light . ) ~~~~~~~~~~ DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in the riddle are fictitious. Any resemblance to real-life characters is unintentional.
|
|||||
| |||
|
It was only a few hours ago that I woke up to just how transient life is, how the Grim Reaper is always among us. Up till this moment, never had I thought much of the spectre that is Death. But it is upon us. Someday, too, I will go, and I'll never know when I will until notice is served me - or not at all. Never had I expected the spectre of Death to be right in our midst. ~~~~~~~~~~ But even though life is transient, so too is the state of death. What is permanent is that which comes afterwards. I must be strong, and work towards that. My dear, strong friend, Grazie, this is for you. Death Be Not Proud, by John Donne (1572-1631) Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so, For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow, Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me. From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee, Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow, And soonest our best men with thee doe goe, Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie. Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell, And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well, And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then; One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally, And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die. Poem from http://classiclit.about.com/library/b Dominus tibiscum, amica mea. Dominus tibiscum, in aeternum.
|
|||
| |
| |||
|
Note: this post is a riddle. Should you not like riddles, it would be best if you went somewhere else - or clicked the red 'X' button on your browser. Nonetheless, thank you for stopping by, and I welcome you to read the rest of the posts that are not in riddles. ( . for . my . heart . doth . find . again . some . reassurance . ) ~~~~~~~~~~ DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in the riddle are fictitious. Any resemblance to real-life characters is unintentional.
|
|||
| |||
|
A few minutes' silence, please, for our compatriot, the hostage in Mumbai, who died at the terrorists' hands. May she rest in peace. Amen.
|
|||
| |||
|
... sur le bus, j'ai entendu le suivant: Une élève de la série scientifique: Pourquoi on ne passe pas l'épreuve de mathématiques supplémentaires le matin? Nous aurions pu vite obtenir notre A1 si on le passerait plus tôt... ... mais elle ne sait pas la raison, et donc, je la pardonne. Vraiment, je ne ressens rien. Demain, elle la saura. Elles - qui ne passent pas les épreuves des langues étrangères - la sauront. Nous haïront-elles? En espérant que non... ~~~~~~~~~~ Please, pardon my structural errors. I need a break, and the ten of us need more consideration. Really, we do. I take your word for it, Mr Tan. Thank you for reassuring Kerryn and I that the ten of us won't be left out. Hallelujah, for I'm where I am, *language switch* et j'en suis fière.
|
|||
| |||
|
Dear Delfi, Thank you very much for your concern today; it really means a lot. It was truly as welcome as warm embers on a wintery day. Really, thank you, my dear seating partner. You didn't do much, but that little was enough. Hallelujah.
|
|||
| |||
|
Sometimes, there are some wounds time just can't heal. ~~~~~~~~~~ How long more, now, must we remain ignorant? Let me quote Plato's famous tale: Once, convicts were chained and shackled and placed in a cave to await death. A fire was lit behind them, casting their own shadows onto the walls of the cave. By and by, the convicts began to believe that there was nothing to see but shadows. One day, a convict managed to break free, and ventured to the mouth of the cave for the first time in ages - and there, he saw trees and vines and flowers rushing up to meet the sun; beasts of all kinds, large and small, hunters and hunted, predators and prey; birds in all colours, in blues and reds and yellows and rainbows, singing praises to the skies. What wondrous things to behold after so many years of captivity in a dank, dingy cave! He must report it to the others. And so he ran back excitedly to the cave to tell them. When he had finished, however, instead of the amazement and wonder that he had been expecting, a roar erupted from the rest of the convicts, followed by jeering and mocking and cries of 'You're a fool'. When they had sobered up, they all unequivocally insisted that all there ever had been, were, and would be, in the beginning, until then, and thereafter, were shadows, would be shadows, nothing but shadows. Is the Foreign Language Programme a covert operation? If not, why is it not recognised here? I'm keeping all my options open. You heard me right. If you don't recognise the opportunities I'm opening up for myself, so be it. Better to learn it now than to learn it later; later will be too late.
|
|||
| |||
|
Yes, people. Hiatus abolition. And not for anything, but to save a flagging composition grade in English. T_T and to think, that was one of my strong areas, where I'd always get 80% for my works. Hateful hiatus. ~~~~~~~~~~ There hasn't been much to blog about though - unless you count my still-too-dismal-to-guarantee-a-reunion-n Anyway, let's have a breakdown of the grades: English: A2 Higher Chinese: B3 (69.25%... I was so close!) French: A1 * SS/Lit: C5 (well, it's the best ever, but needs some work still!) E-Maths: A1 (whoa-kay?) A-Maths: flunked (I've failed you, Mrs Phua; I'm too ashamed to post up my grade) Chemistry: A1 Biology: A1 Express Chinese (cemented): B3 ---------- L1R5: School-computed **: 14 Self-computed **: 11 ---------- So, that's the marks for you and me. * Not just an A1, but a personal best percentage as well. I'll leave the tale for another day, post-O's. ** The difference between school-computed and self-computed grades: school-computed grades do NOT include French. Inference: the school is anti-globalisation. *grin* (Actually, they're not; I know they're just trying to be fair to the rest, to show what they've done. But it personally does me no justice.) ~~~~~~~~~~ Now, I suppose, time for a little peek into yesterday and today. Yesterday... ... was Delfi's birthday! *breaks into song* Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you; Happy Birthday to Delfi! Happy Birthday to you! *turns to Delfi* Though it was yesterday, my dear seating partner, you do remember I was the first to message you, right? ^_^ Many happy returns, and I hope you enjoyed your career talks, no matter what you went for... ... and yes, there were career talks. There were nine in total, with at least two running concurrently at any time slot. There were: Medicine and Engineering; Law and Journalism; Accountancy/Business and Social Work; and Chemical Industry, Landscaping and Design. I went for Medicine, Law, Social Work and Design. I'm not really sure what to say about them, but here goes. The doctor who came in the morning was pretty serious about his presentation; he'd come armed with a Powerpoint presentation. I'm thankful I made notes, or I may have ended up remembering only that a doctor came, spoke and left. The world of doctors is diverse; there are options aplenty. Thing is, though, I wonder now if I'm really cut out to be one; the doctors' pledge is a little scary, and I wonder how much of it I'm practising already. Someone tell me... *wails in realistic mock desperation* ... and then sometime during the end part of the presentation, I remembered an anecdote about a parturient obstetrician-gynaecologist who was trapped under rubble in an earthquake - she managed to sterilise some makeshift instruments, deliver her child by caesarean and sew herself back up, without anaesthesia. It was related to me quite some time ago, and even now, I still marvel at her. For the second session, I Just Followed Law. The lawyer who came was more serious about her presentation, at least in her manner. She kept on veering off into other things, but managed to stop herself from digressing too far, bring herself back on track and deliver us the information we needed. My peers fired quite a lot of questions at her - some pertaining to specific areas of law. I wonder at them, honestly. My own question was about the kind of qualities a lawyer would need, besides diligence and always being pleasant. The gist of her reply? "Tenacity, and emotional strength." If that be what's needed, then so be it. After recess, I moved to the Theatrette for the Social Work seminar. The speaker started off by giving us a little problem: to make a ball of string into a star. I don't remember how we did it (blame my short memory :P), but it definitely required lots of teamwork. Subsequently, he engaged us by making us laugh. I kid you not. It was not through making puns, as I am ever so wont to do. Really, he was peppering his talk with so many funny things that roars erupted from the ground every now and then; he would have made a good stand-up comedian. Not only that, but he gave us a case study to resolve. We didn't actually do the work, but our ideas were enough to tell him how we think. Many of our answers were spot-on. Don't underestimate girls ^_^ Last but not least, design. We were dazzled by the array of multimedia shows that the design school alumni had finished! Quite frankly, they're almost indescribable. The standard is just so high, one to which I aspire - save that I don't have the required software. I want :D Overall, a good array, but I feel the teachers missed one area - pedagogy. (Haha.) All fired up, now, and ready! ^_^
|
|||
| |
|
Don't say I didn't warn you, Wilders, if it does happen. Or maybe you should come here, and we can widen your scope of vision a little. ~~~~~~~~~~ And all of you, stop attacking her. The fault is ours. We should have a little more initiative. She didn't take an MC today simply to spite us. That is insanity. What are we, then - 4/Insane of the Magnificent Class of 2008? I'm sick and tired of this attitude. I have proof. Proof that it cannot be possible. Proof that you know not; no, proof that you know naught. The proof of the teacher is in the students. Two, taking SS/Geog under her; one had seven raw points, and another, eight. One, taking SS/Lit under her; she had ten raw points. Is that not good enough for you? Shut up, all you detractors. Shut up. The proof is there, and unshakably so. I'm going back to study for her subject. DON'T DISTURB. |
|
| |
| |||
|
I know, I know I said that would be the first, last and only hiatus break. However, recent events have stirred me up so much that I cannot but post my responses here. "Now that you have received your liberal Western education, what do you think of your government treating you like livestock?" That, apparently, was asked by an American then-student at Princeton University; the question was directed at one of my fellow Singaporeans. You can imagine her response; she "found herself regurgitating the achievements of Singapore", and "was angry and 'just could not get over his condescending tone or his use of incendiary phrases like livestock'." ~~~~~~~~~~ The abovementioned story, which appeared in today's Straits Times, got me thinking: what is the meaning of Western liberalism? Does it give Westerners the right to insult others? I don't think so. To say that someone else's government is "treating them like livestock" is an insult; it's one that even I can debunk. We're worked hard here, yes, but it's in exchange for higher salaries than the rest of ASEAN, which we can then spend on whatever we like. Our GDP is comparable to those in other developed countries who started industrialisation earlier than us. And when the government makes surplus money, they divide the spoils among the people – if you look at the big Budget 2008 Hongbao that was given to Singaporeans. Look also at MediSave, MediShield and MediFund, as well as the Central Provident Fund. The former three ensure that healthcare is readily available – at low cost – to all who need it; the latter ensures that everyone retires with a good-sized nest egg. You scoff; isn't that what the pension scheme does? True, both do pay for your retirement, but with the conventional pension scheme, the payout is reduced after a certain amount of time; the CPF account is like a bank account – regular deposits are made, interest is earned on them, and even after retirement, when the time has come to withdraw the money bit by bit, interest is still dished out on the current principal. Which scheme is inflation going to hit harder? Probably the American made that statement on seeing that we're not exactly that liberal. However, liberalism has its drawbacks, the worst of them being the high risk of possibly insulting people. We're conservative for some part (though some are embracing Western culture, going by their dressing), we hang on to traditional values, and we do not cross racial and religious boundaries (as Westerners are so predisposed to do due to liberalism). Speaking of crossing racial and religious boundaries, Dutch lawmaker Geert Wilders recently made the anti-Islam film entitled Fitna, which enraged Muslims around the world. All I can do is to pray for Wilders; he knows not what he does by exerting his right to freedom of speech. Or should I mention the effects? Before I even do, let us get one thing straight: it's not Islam itself that spawns terrorists; it's extremist interpretations of Islam that do. (I'm no Muslim, but I have Muslim friends, and they're not bad, not evil, not terrorists.) In making his film, Wilders has, without knowing the above fact, insulted the religion; therefore, he's got the whole Muslim world (that knows about it) against him. The situation has been compounded, however, by a court ruling that actually acknowledges Wilders's right to free expression; the film was screened on its appointed release date. Courts are supposed to dispense justice; where is the justice for all the good Muslims in the world, if they have to bear this insult just because of the deeds of the (proportionately) few among them who actually are extremists? I personally wouldn't be surprised if (touch wood) terrorist-planned uprisings occur. And if they do, don't go to the rest of the Muslims seeking an explanation, because it was coming and you should've seen it coming. ~~~~~~~~~~ If such abused freedom of expression is what comes of Western liberalism, then I'd rather not subscribe to it, because it erodes traditional values, relationships and all that we Asians hold dear. Here, allow me to leave you with a quote to chew on: "With great power comes great responsibility." – Spider-Man film tagline
|
|||
| |||||
|
I'll make this the first, last and only break of this hiatus. And here, I promise: by next week, you'll all be seeing me in better form than I have shown you. I promise. Proud of Your Boy - (deleted song from an earlier version of) Disney's Aladdin Proud of your boy - I'll make you proud of your boy. Believe me, bad as I've been, Ma, you're in for a pleasant surprise. I've wasted time, I've wasted me; so say I'm slow for my age, a late bloomer. Okay, I agree that I've been one rotten kid - some son, some pride and some joy - but I'll get over these lousin' up, messin' up, screwin' up times. You'll see, Ma, now comes the better part: someone's gonna make good - cross his stupid heart - make good, and finally make you proud of your boy. Tell me that I've been a louse and loafer; you won't get a fight here, no ma'am. Say I'm a goldbrick, a good-off, no good, but that couldn't be all that I am... Water flows under the bridge; let it pass, let it go. There's no good reason that you should believe me - not yet, I know, but someday and soon, I'll make you proud of your boy. Though I can't make myself taller, or smarter, or handsome, or wise, I'll do my best; what else can I do, since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you? Mom, I will try to - try hard to make you - proud of your boy. Yes, I will be in better form than I am now; this is my vow. I will will this. The oath is mine to take and yours to hold me to, an oath that promises Gold with Honours after I graduate. Ardour, dynamism, zeal, ελπίδα - I'll translate them into action. You'll see a new me rise up from the ashes of my grey past. ~~~~~~~~~~ And, Team O - you're the best. If I do hit my target, this one's for you people. ~~~~~~~~~~ All the best to everyone taking the O's this year - or, for that matter, the PSLE or the A's, or any other major exams. Back to hiatus; until my return.
|
|||||
| |||||
|
... why do you have to go? I'm alone again - or not, because (language switch) bella premunt hostilia... it's such a critical situation. Why now? Even then, I'm sure you must have your reasons. I will toukeepch. ~~~~~~~~~~ No, maybe I'm not as alone as I think. I just need to break out of the illusion. Now, if you'll allow me this short quote from Réflexion - the French version of the song titled Reflection from Disney's Mulan: (language switch) Je cherche, en ma mémoire, qui je suis, pour savoir - perdu dans ces réflexions, où mon âme s'égare? (language switch) Yes, I need to find my way out. One, doubled, tripled, quadrupled, quintupled, hextupled, heptupled, octupled, nonupled... ... and, finally, decimated. I can do this; I will will it. You (different from the "you" addressed above) won't be able to strike despair and misery into me anymore. Elpis is on my side. That is enough. Begone. ~~~~~~~~~~ Elpis lives; ελπίδα lives. And both shall live forever, as a value that God and mankind alike treasure.
|
|||||
| |||
|
Oh, my love, how should I pursue you when the year after next comes? There are two routes... Down one road, I see friends, and also I see myself... stagnating, not collecting new experience, but having a good time anyway, riding a familiar rollercoaster that gives the same highs and lows in the same intensity - and is good in that way for sentimental old me. Looking down the other path... I see a possible future career for myself, combining my childhood foundation in one art form and my teenage foundation in another art form into a third form - that highest form to which I aspire. To marry them and be a practitioner - no, a consummate child - of the two forms in one... that would be an honour. What I do know is that I need to keep my options open. And to do that, I need to work towards securing a place in the second corner mentioned above. I shall call this plan "Operation: DMPT". ~~~~~~~~~~ - TOP SECRET - OPERATION: DMPT Description: ... Extra help needed: ... Course of action: ... Requirements: - ALL SACRIFICE (only exceptions to be made are Duty-based, as well as Social-based tasks [SBT to be subject to stringent review; all DBT to be done without exception]) - ZERO TIME WASTAGE (MAX limit is 10% wastage) - ARDOUR, COMPREHENSION, DYNAMISM, EFFICIENCY, PERSEVERANCE, ZEAL - TO BE UPPED BY 200% - END - ~~~~~~~~~~ (turning to readers) Yes, this means another hiatus, which is to take effect on 1st January 2008. My poor Livejournal page will have seen two hiatuses before even turning one. (turning to Livejournal page) I'm sorry, LJ page, but I have to do this. (turning to "love") But I know that, no matter which way I choose, I will be able to see you again - no, not just see you, but hear you, perform you, execute you. The question is how. ~~~~~~~~~~ For the record: I'm single.
|
|||
| |||
|
... I can't believe you just said that. But even if it stings, I have to respect it (and I do), as much as I had to respect this. After all, that is your decision. Still, it hurts a little. Toukeepch, yes? ~~~~~~~~~~ ... and you (not the same as the "you" above) aren't going to be the same anymore. I love you so much - for your colour, your design, everything about you. I'm happy with the way you are now. They aren't; they say you have too many identical siblings, that the design has been around for too long. I'm going to miss you. ~~~~~~~~~~ I'm going to miss you too, all of you. Please, keep in touch.
|
|||
| |||
|
Team O! Why aren't you listening? Why aren't you responding? Yes, I'm calling you. Reply soon, please. The angela tea calls. ~~~~~~~~~~ I'm NOT going to update about the workshop until a certain duty of mine is done. I will say, though, that it was heartening to see Karen and Youying again.
|
|||
| |||
|
... it needs to have a few clothing items added, such as: - a kimono, with butterfly motifs on it (Madama Butterfly is love!) - a form of hanbok that I can wear (no extra specifications, save that it must be my size) - an ao dai (they are beautiful!), in any Chinese New Year-reminiscient shade - a punjabi suit (size 40 fits beautifully), in a violet-pink scheme - a mannequin (if ever I attempt to make any of the costumes mentioned here, as well as on the main wishlist, by myself) ... I'm saving up for most of the items, so don't fret about me.
|
|||
| |
| |||
|
I only just realised what this means after taking a tour around some blogs / webpages put up by friends and fellow Cedarians. They type things in quite a different way from the way I do, but both the meaning and impact of their messages still come through (for the non-initiated, however, a basic understanding of the acronyms and expressions is required, and I do understand some of them). Well, they're free to type that way; I could do that too if I wanted, but I don't. To back that up, I'm going to copy-and-paste a little something from my former blog: -------------------- [21 Nov 06, 18:00] weewee-: y mi linkk pink color de?? [following tag] walao...they dunoo how ta speak broken english issit?? [following tag] so OUTDATED [following tag] i'm not SAYING euu but...so toot -> Welcome to my community, Cousin Lizzie. Welcome to my community. -------------------- That there was my record of a few tags, and the part preceded by the arrow is my response. Evidently my dear cousin felt out of her environment and wondered why most of the people who tagged my then-blog didn't do as she (and her friends) did (and still do). It's not that my friends and I don't know how to use broken English, it's just that we choose not to. We're free to choose how we want to speak, write and type, and we choose to use our languages as they should be used - without mixing in other languages if it can be helped. So be it if my Cousin Lizzie sees spelling, grammar and vocabulary, et cetera as an undesirable mask that she has to don at school, as a chain that tethers her when she's there. I'll admit that it can be a bit of a pain to try to follow all the rules, but - good language is my tool, and I'm not afraid to sharpen or use it. I'm sure my friends feel the same way. (... don't you?) We all are free to select the tasks we want to do, free to choose the ways in which we feel freedom, and, in that sense, free to choose our own types of freedom. So, are human beings born to be free? My response is, "We are only as free as we elect to be, free in the ways we choose to be."
|
|||
| |||
|
Everyone's posting up their wishlists now that Christmas is coming. I think I'll join the fad for once ^_^ I would like: - most of all, and in the very near future: to have my voice back (for speaking AND singing) - in future (currently saving up for): a floor-length red-and-gold / pink-and-silver qipao (OR a 汉服 - specifically, a 襦裙 - in a red colour scheme), as well as floor-length white, silver and golden Doric chitons tailored to my size, and not to mention a more hugging version of my Choir gown (but in silver or white shiny silk satin this time) - in future: voice, piano and harp lessons; I want to be an operatic-quality soprano who also knows how to tickle the ivories and play the harp! - next year (currently working towards): a personal Gold with Honours - in future (currently saving up for): music-writing software, and a keyboard (if it's required). That way, I don't need to actually write out the score for my only composition to date, and neither do I need to write out scores for my simple improvisations of pieces - writing them out is tedious, and it can be frustrating to erase mistakes! - impossible: more hours in a day - in the next few years: to be successful in finding a publisher - already done: to watch an opera - already granted: a repository of ancient Greek vocabulary (thank you, Lan Ya, for the French-Greek dictionary!) I don't want anyone to grant me the wishes that require money (unless you really want to); I'm trying to save up for those. You could help, though, by recommending either the music teachers or the publishers. And I wish I could pay Lan Ya back. The dictionary in question cost her one euro at a flea market - but she went to France with a budget of about 100 euros. Mine was 2.5 times larger than hers (i.e. I took 350 euros with me in total), and to think I didn't get her anything :( hopefully I can get her something, either for this Christmas, or her next birthday? I think I want to give Charmaine something too - but what? ~~~~~~~~~~ I think I just realised that I'm not that anti-Japan. I only put on that false mask at will. Ah, well, into the bin with it. But I maintain (and it is true that) - Japanese is hard for me to learn. (language switch) Joyeux Noël, tout le monde!
|
|||
| |||
|
My entry disappeared. I'd never thought this could happen on Livejournal - at least, I trusted it wouldn't happen again after the disappearance of my first typing-out of Oneireia: Part 1 - but it did. Oh well... here's my post again (or at least, what I can recall of it). ~~~~~~~~~~ It's so good to be home! I've missed everyone (my parents, best friends and seniors in particular), the cooking at home, the environment, the piano at home and the simple little pieces I've been playing on it (I just found out that I can play one of my younger brother's ABRSM Grade 3 pieces, despite the fact that the last exam I took qualifies me to only be an ABRSM Grade 1 - I think I have to thank my stint in the Cedar Choir for that), the local dishes (chye tow kuay and roti prata, to name two)... An unfortunate turn of events, however, relegates the sampling of the abovementioned two dishes, as well as my first love (which, as I must clarify, is singing), to the extreme back burner. *** When Mom came with Dad to the airport to pick me up, we chatted about quite a few things, and one of those things she brought up was that she had had a severe sore throat after the return flight from her own trip abroad (this phenomenon henceforth called "jet throat" in this article unless the real name of the condition is known. Mom managed to cure herself of her "jet throat"; she's a lot stronger than I am, and I admire her for that). She told me to watch out for telltale symptoms; I said I would. It turns out I didn't exactly have to look out for them; the whole entourage of symptoms would mark a smashing debut to my illness. They signalled to me that my whole body was turning into a battlefield, with fires alight in my cranium and the bloodiest tussle between my white cells and the pathogenic invaders being in my throat - again. Also, history repeated itself as my voice was taken hostage yet again, but this time it was taken to a dungeon further away than those belonging to the previous attackers. Yes, people - no voice. It's one of the worst situations to be in, as I found out when I went to the Choir Comm meeting today; for me, it meant absolutely no quick way to ask questions or give feedback - if you genuinely wanted to, you either had to go through pen-and-paper, or have another person repeat, in a louder voice, what you might be trying to say. Oh, and it also means that you can't reply to questions quickly either - the Choral Director shot me a question to which an oral reply would be fastest, and I could only reply by writing out my response. Oh, to have my voice back... it feels as if it was snatched away by Parisian thug demons that had somehow sneaked onto the plane, or something like that. (My voice was fine in Bordeaux; in fact, I believe I gave a It would be wonderful to have my voice back, along with its soprano (safest maximum before the voicenapping - the A after the C that's an octave above middle C), and the latter's possibly-a-little-too-dark-for-choir-but- *** When I went to see the doctor, I got the following verdict: laryngitis. It's the truth, and the fact that it is really plunges my mood. I'm not in denial, really; it's just that I can't carry out the activity that I call "my first love". I now quote Wikipedia (Larynx, revision 177223592 as of 15:34, 11 December 2007 by Escarbot): "There are several things that can cause a larynx to not function properly. Some symptoms are hoarseness, loss of voice, pain in the throat or ears, and breathing difficulties. "Acute laryngitis is the sudden inflammation and swelling of the larynx. It is caused by the common cold or by excessive shouting. It is not serious. Chronic laryngitis is caused by smoking, dust, frequent yelling, or prolonged exposure to polluted air. It is much more serious than acute laryngitis." Goodness; in that case, I hope that mine's the acute version, not the chronic one. The doc also prescribed me medication, and I hope that I can be cured soon ("soon" meaning "before Christmas"). Mom mentioned her case of "jet throat" to the doctor, who then replied that, in addition to the plane conditions on her four-hour flight, "maybe you took in too much of petrol fumes while you were there". In which case, then the conditions on my twelve-hour flight, as well as the fact that I took in quite a lot of cigarette smoke in France, contributed to my laryngitis. (Yes, I took in too much cigarette smoke, by my standards - my buddy goes out often to meet her friends, and the French youths smoke; some of those friends even blew smoke in my face, and the only way I was going to get my oxygen supply was to literally gasp for air during times when I thought the smoke content in the air to be relatively low. A French teacher - that is, of French nationality - said that the local teens smoke to show that they're all grown up and one with the adults; I personally think this to be an immature and health-destructive course of action. Otherwise, they're nice people at heart.) *** Aside from this particular complication that arose from my flight, the flight itself was a blast (especially because of the KrisWorld in-flight entertainment system). I managed to catch an opera during the flight. (Please spare the length of my little mini-review - I need to sleep soon. Madama Butterfly is good in terms of storyline, acting and singing... Really, Pinkerton shouldn't have done what he did, and oh, the poor young titular character!) Never before did I realise that all the lines in an opera are sung! Also, I can now strike my wish to watch La Traviata off my list, now that I know what an opera is like. I also got to learn some basic Greek on board the plane (I love all the Greek things that I know)! Eυχαριστώ, KrisWorld! *** This part of the post is dedicated to my voice. You have been one of my best friends through the years, accompanying me through all the times of my life when I needed to communicate orally. It really pains me to have you kidnapped once again. But don't fret; we can make it through this trial. And this time, I genuinely believe that. Still, after you're back, I think I'll still allow you to rest for some time, the reason being explained by the following lyrics of the French song, Sous le Vent: c'est juste une pause, un répit, après les dangers. The translation I'm doing below is fitted to the tune. Here goes: If you think this to be the last, alas, 'tis just a break, some respite, with dangers gone past. And after that respite, we'll walk our way down the streets of communication and join hands in the weaving of melodious tunes - and I'll take better care of you than before, I promise. Sincerely yours, Penelope No, wait - who knows if my voice will even come back? I should just strike all that out. But honestly, I want it to return. ~~~~~~~~~~ edit as of 9.34am, 13-12-1007: Last night I dreamt I saw Denyse; both of us were in some sort of classroom, donning our black Cedar Choir shirts, and her hair was down. And both of us were chatting, almost as if I'd never gotten this bout of laryngitis at all. I can't recall our entire conversation, but I do remember that it was something to do with "Mr Lim" and "Bio" (Mr Lim taught both our classes Biology this year, among other classes). Then, at a certain point in the conversation, my senior left, presumably for her classroom. Wait - did you notice something? Both of us were conversing, and orally at that! In that dream, I had my voice with me! That would be wonderful - but unfortunately, this dream won't come true anyway, so what difference does it make if I type it out or not? Yes, this dream won't come true; the seniors are going for the Choir Barbecue later today, and I can't go; I'm ill and my voice is hostage, remember? After breakfast, I took a few rounds of warm honey solution, and (twenty minutes ago) just coughed out a big (around 30mm in diameter, by my estimate) blob of throat pus (that is, phlegm); I'm feeling more relieved, but my dearest voice isn't back yet. I tried to say something, and got a slight semblance of it (by estimate again, about 1% of its normal power at speaking volume). (turning to voice) Hang in there; the medication, the home remedies, my folks and I will get you out of there soon! (turning back to readers) I'm feeling a tinge of hope. ~~~~~~~~~~ Eλπίδα, as well as Cedar Choral Devotion, forever.
|
|||
| |||
|
Chère vous, Je sais que, normalement, nous nous adressons en utilisant 'tu', mais, pour l'instant, il y a des raisons pourquoi je vous adresse maintenant en utilisant le pronom 'vous'. Attendez, ce n'est pas "des raisons", c'est "une raison". Vous me la demandez ? Bon, je vais vous la donner. C'est parce que vous m'avez gravement blessée, en faisant ce que vous avez fait. Les blessures que j'ai déjà reçu... elles pourraient être mortelles si j'étais un peu plus faible; si j'avais été aussi faible, je me serais tuée plusieurs fois. Mais, comme vous savez, je vis encore; et je trouve que la vie est belle, même si elle est imprévisible. Le sang suinte de toutes mes blessures, sans fin, sans repos, éternellement... de plus en plus, je perds d'énergie, je suis plus fatiguée... et enfin, je tombe dans les pommes en m'effondant... Il me tarde le jour de notre réunion à l'école. Ce jour-là, je vous adresserai en utilisant le pronom 'tu', et vous ne saurez rien. Vous continuerez comme rien ne s'est passé. Moi, je sais, et je me souviendrai de tout. Je vous remercie pour tout. Moi, je ne veux plus perdre du sang. Entre nous, c'est la fin. ~~~~~~~~~~ (language switch) Rachel, this letter isn't addressed to you. I've long forgiven you. The 'vous' in the letter is someone else. edit: ...and, Rachel, there are some times when I feel like that too. I don't know what more I can say... am I just a pincushion, or what? No, I'm not. Someday, we'll be appreciated for who we are. ~~~~~~~~~~ My heart is fire; my mind is crystal (but lately many impurities have settled on its surface). I'm trying to clean it out. Then, and only then, will the miracles happen. The countdown starts NOW. (language switch)
|
|||
| |||||
|
You've closed the window into your life that was your webpage. Oh well. Maybe it is a time-wasting chore, keeping up to date with everything. Even if it stings, I respect your decision, much as I respect you. ~~~~~~~~~~ Comme toi, je veux bien remporter une médaille d'or; alors il me faut travailler plus dur, et aussi mieux.
|
|||||
| |||
|
*Note: something odd happened that caused me to lose ALL the progress I had made on this part of the story last night, and so this is a result of searching my brain for the missing bits and pieces of the story. The next instalment will be a little late in coming, but do enjoy what I have out thus far!* ( . as . I . dreamt . ... . ) ~~~~~~~~~~ DISCLAIMER: I'm not death-wishing anyone; any resemblance of any characters in this story to any real-life people, living or otherwise, is not intentional. And I OWN THIS STORY, thank you very much; please give credit where it's due. Thank you.
|
|||
| |||
|
( 4I-ians of 2008 ONLY )
|
|||
| |||
|
I never get that many mentions on anyone's webpage. And when I do, it's mainly for disparaging stuff. Don't be so emo, a voice inside my head cautions. It's time to bring out the smiles. And I will smile. Something is stirring. Something from the depths of light and shadows, from the depths of my inner world, my soul, my spirit. I'm hoping that it's a star, brightly shining, burning in a way that does not hurt. ~~~~~~~~~~ The promised story is coming soon. I just need to free myself from the tangle I'm currently in.
|
|||
| |||
|
So, with private, friends-only and public posts counted, this is my fiftieth post on Livejournal. Happy 50th Post to my dearest Livejournal page! I'm feeling euphoric. It's not because this is the fiftieth update on my Livejournal page, but because ελπίδα exists. A new wave of it has come and refreshed me, and I pay tribute to its origin by linking the person who gave it to me. I'm hopeful again, and I thank you for it. ~~~~~~~~~~ Cedar Choral Devotion; eternally, forever, sempiternally.
|
|||
| |
|
|
|
| |||
|
When you talk to someone good who really knows you, regardless of whatever she or he says, or of whatever the effect her or his words are on you (unless they're really acidic), the effect on you is always cathartic. For that, I thank Ms Chye, and also Elizabeth (for being such a good host when I popped by for a surprise visit). I know what to work towards now; from here on, the only way is up towards that star of gold that shines in the distance. Lord, thank You so much for putting me in Cedar instead of Nanyang Girls' and Dunman High; thank You so much for having so many candidates choose those schools that I would not be able to enter with my T-Score; thank You for having that coin land Cedar side up. I could never have been given so many unique opportunities otherwise. Comparing me with my fellow PCPS 6A'04 choristers, I have had something they didn't. Chin Yu went to Chung Cheng High (Main), joined their choir, and didn't go to Choral Excellence 2006. Jaslyn and Melissa Lim went to Nanyang Girls', joined their choir, and didn't go to Choral Excellence 2006 either. I went to Cedar Girls', joined their choir, and I was given the opportunity to go to Choral Excellence 2006. Naturally I accepted, and experienced a certain magic that transformed my life and deepened some bonds - and I shall forever treasure those times and their effects. Also, had I not gone to Cedar, I could never have met all of them (the names at the end of the entry AREN'T their names; I don't want the wrong people to know that I'm referring to them) otherwise; nor could I have met Ms Chye, or Mrs Loy, or Mrs Han, Mdm Goh, Mrs Low, or Miss Tan, or Mrs Lee. They care so much for me... Speaking of Miss Tan, she left the school and just came back for a visit today. It was nice, just to see her again. That is, though I wish she could still teach me in my Sec 4 year. However horribly painful those incidents in the past were, though, I'm not going to fall back into them again. Not to say that I won't look back at them - I can't avoid them as I look back on my life thus far, reliving every moment - but I will resist falling back into sorrow again. Am I really that jaded? No, that's just the mask that those times have cast upon me. Am I really one to hide in my shell all the time? Maybe, but I will no longer. One of my seniors told me this by message, not too long ago - "no, noone should ever keep herself in her clam shell." "Ελπίδα" is the word that is on the cover of the autograph book that I made myself (yes, that explains the shoddy and unprofessional workmanship; still, I had the chance to design it in whatever way I wished) and had them (as in "all of them", as linked above) sign. I must make ελπίδα part of my motto. ~~~~~~~~~~ No, it shall be my motto. Already I'm putting in ardour, dynamism and zeal, but I'm still being an anion. I need a positive charge; ελπίδα will provide that. I shall rise up and soar.
|
|||
| |||
|
*Note: These snippets are not in chronological order; I came up with them in a different order from that in which they appear below, and rearranged them so that they end off on an ideal note. Enjoy!* ~~~~~~~~~~ Would you buy anything that had "Pride? Teamwork? Effort? We have none of that {*word censored*} around here" printed on it? My contemporaries might, to show that they have attitude, but the sort of attitude that the above sentences betray is not ideal at all, in any way, with respect to any facet of life. I don't believe in buying that sort of thing to show that I have attitude. In fact, I doubt I will ever buy from the company that produces such things. ~~~~~~~~~~ I doubt I will ever like the songs that my classmate stores in her handphone, either. Already I don't like Rachael Starr's Till There Was You; I couldn't like that sort of song any less. (turning to someone in particular) You told me you like lyrical melodies when praising our song, the one I composed for us. So do I; and that song shall be ours forever. (turning back to readers in general) I want to listen to operas, maybe even become a Daaé come-again. I want to work to that. It shall be a continuing love of music. As a chorister, I'm practically Mrs. Choir, honestly. Lyrical is love. ~~~~~~~~~~ Without all its hangings, the school is more empty and lifeless than it was. I say more empty and lifeless, because there still exists some life, some of the imprints of the creativity of souls, and their owners' spirit. They give me hope, fire up the ardour, dynamism and zeal that I continually possess. And they smile, even though they will still crumble and turn to dust when their time comes: the murals, the splattered column, the collages. They smile, breathe, live in spirit; why can't I fire up my soul likewise and burn brightly too? I can make this. (turning to another someone in particular) Lionne, you said "that's great" when I told you of my resolution. I can make it come true. I believe in, trust, have faith in myself. I'll will it on. And it starts now; with my every step, this is my vow. ~~~~~~~~~~ Everything is falling into place on the giant loom that is the Choir of which I am a part: the threads are forming, their colours becoming more distinct; the shuttle is ready; the embellishments have been procured. Soon, I foresee, we will be able to repeatedly weave tapestries to amaze and entrance, always with the large hands - one belonging to the conductor, the other to the choristers and the rehearsal pianist - skilfully working in tandem, in tune, in perfect harmony, always giving the best effort; always with the anticipated effects. We. We can. We can make. We can make this. We can make this happen. I'm sure of it; I have faith in us all. We can do this. We can make this. ~~~~~~~~~~
|
|||
| |||
|
The above was a self-quote from my former blog (the entry's keyword is the title - "Just a random snippet or two"). You'll know the context of that quote if you read the entry. Or maybe I'll spare you the trouble of searching my whole blog with the faulty Blog Search function - here's the whole chunk of text. It totally explains my feelings at this point. -------------------- "Why does it feel like I'm part of the Final Generation? "When we (Chin Yu, Jaslyn, Mel Lim and I) sang at the SYF Central Judging of Choirs 2004, the Pei Chun Choir took home a Gold, and was among the Top 5 Primary School Choirs; at the SYF Central Judging of Choirs 2006, it had to make do with a Silver. "When they (the Cedar Choir seniors) sang at the SYF Central Judging of Choirs 2005, they brought home a glorious Gold With Honours, and were among the Top 5 Secondary School and JC Choirs; what will become of the SYF Central Judging of Choirs 2007? "I have a feeling that my time for glory is past. Or shall I push the boundaries? "Perhaps, the latter, then. I have passed another test worthy of a Cedarian before; completing the eight laps of Freestyle swimming set by my instructor when I got palpitations during the second lap. "I stayed the course; I am a Cedarian. I can't give up. "With strength and grit, we'll surmount. Add my name to that, please. "I can't give up, I mustn't give up, I WON'T give up. "I'm a Cedarian Chorister; hear me roar." -------------------- If only you had that kind of attitude. Quit your complaining and learn to love. I can see you; so can all of us. We are watching. ~~~~~~~~~~ Cedar Choral Devotion, forever.
|
|||
| |||
|
"Thou shalt treat everyone with dignity, even those who are puerile in thine eyes" is a rule I hereby pledge to follow. ~~~~~~~~~~ Ardour, dynamism, nobility, zeal; I can make this.
|
|||
loved
grateful
contemplative
ablaze
aggravated
raring to beat the Promos
cynical
good
okay
resigned
stressed
ecstatic
cheerful
determined
hopeful
sad
guilty
physically sick
creative
*mystic mood*
totally mixed-up